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Sacrificing American Values

January 27, 2019 by  
Filed under Community

Sacrificing American Values


Louie Overstreet

Whether on the altar of expediency or the fire pit of convenience, the aspirational virgin values that have sustained America for well over 200 years are being sacrificed at a rate that exceeds college girls losing their virginity at a Greek fraternity toga party on a Saturday night.

Trump’s altar slab of intolerance is supported by the pillars of hate, division, incompetence, and cronyism. He fuels his pit of fire with logs of lies.

One of America’s oldest virgins, Ms. First Amendment, was also the first to come under attack by the Idiot President. He informed her that it was his sworn duty to do everything within his power as President to keep her dumb, barefoot, and pregnant.

The Idiot takes great delight in fondling Ms. Lady Justice from behind and running off before she can take off her blindfold to see who it was that assaulted her.

Needless to say, his lewd behavior has caused Ms. Lady Liberty many a sleepless night. She has grown tired of his pickup line about all he wants to do is “light her fire,” by the torch she is carrying.

He bumped into the pure as the driven snow, Ms. American Creed and immediately stuck a yard of tongue lies down her throat causing her to choke on her words, “…It’s my duty, to my country, to love it….!”

In celebration of Halloween, he dresses up as the Devil and always brings a stepladder so that he reach the top of the pedestal to accost somebody’s daughter.

At the office Christmas party, he always finds a way to pull Ms. Virtue off into a secluded office, so he can spank her until her behind becomes as red as the party punch.

However, by far Trump’s favorite target for the last two years has been Ms. News. She feels violated and in need of a shower every time she leaves a press conference, after repeatedly calling her fake.

I hear you: satire ain’t my strong suit! I hope to do better the rest of 2019.

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