Monday, November 20, 2017

Blended Family Business

September 3, 2013 by  
Filed under Conversation

A BUSINESS CONVERSATION WITH THE BOONE FAMILY

Blended Family Business

BY KIMBERLY BAILEY-TUREAUD

Las Vegas Black Image Magazine recently spoke to a local married couple, Anthony Boone III and Kasina Douglass-Boone, to discuss how love brought their blended family together.

The family is made up of Laurel Bell (10), Lloyd Waller IV (20), Anthony Boone IV (16), Kasina Douglass- Boone (39), Logan Byrdstraw (13), Nigel Boone, Anthony Boone III and family dog, Peanut Butter.

How long have you two been married?

Anthony: For nine years.

How did your love story begin?

Kasina: Anthony was a single dad of two boys, and I was a single mother with three children. Anthony’s youngest son participated in a summer camp program that I was working with, and that is how we initially met. We both felt the initial chemistry but never acted on it. It was about a year later that I ran into Anthony again in a grocery store, and he remembered my name. We started talking, and he shared with me that his son needed a tutor. So I said that I would work with his son and then one thing led to another.

How was dating in the beginning of your relationship?

Kasina: We both decided to take it slow and dated for a while before exposing the relationship to the children.

Anthony: It was a little trying at times because of the adjustment period, but it all worked out.

What would your advice be to other couples thinking about having a blended family?

Kasina: It was easier for me coming into Anthony’s family because there wasn’t another custodial parent in his children’s lives. My children’s father was participating in my children’s lives, so the hard part was transitioning with my ex-husband. It was more of an adjustment because the children base how they feel according to how the other people — the adults — feel around them. Once my ex-husband and or an ex-wife understands that no one is trying to take anyone’s place, but enhancing the love that is already there for the children, the process become cohesive.

How do you discipline the children?

Kasina: It resembles good cop, bad cop. We told all the children in the beginning of our marriage that we would both be disciplining them where we see fit. I am the primary disciplinarian, but since the children are getting older — and especially with the boys — Anthony talks to them “Bill Cosby” style.

Anthony what is your formula for raising the children?

Anthony: I lead by example. I go to work as the children go to school. I don’t hang out at the clubs, and I focus on the positive way of life and love my wife and love my children. I show them that there is a way to be a good father and to provide for your family. I show them the positive side of family love.

Is it important for you to show your affection for one another?

Kasina: It’s funny you mention that, because on Valentine’s Day my husband always sends flowers to me and his mother. And he goes to my daughter’s school to deliver flowers to her, so that she will always know that her dad and brothers love her. My husband treats me like a queen and my daughter like a princess. Her big brothers do the same, and my husband has taught all of the boys how to cook. They love to surprise us with a fine dining experience in the home. The bar has been set very high for my daughter by her father and brothers, and any man that comes into her life when she grows up will have to measure up.

Do the children call you mom and dad?

Kasina: Yes, they do. It has evolved because there are custodial parents, but it has taken on a transition of its own from calling me “Mommy Kasina” and calling Anthony “Daddy Anthony.” Now it’s just mom and dad.

What are the things that you definitely do together as a family?

Kasina: One of the things that is very important to both of us is worshiping together with our children. We pray together as a family. I knew Anthony was going to be my husband when we were dating and we had our first little argument. He grabbed my hand and told me, “We can’t fix it, so we need to pray about it.” This has been the foundation of our marriage.

What has been a lesson learned from your blended family?

Kasina: For me, it was when Anthony’s ex-wife came back into our lives and wanted to build a relationship with her sons after being gone for so many years. I was like a mother bear — very protective. My reaction didn’t come from a place of insecurity; it came from my instinct to protect my sons. If I had to do over again, I would have responded differently, because the boys started to pull back from me. I should have let my husband take the lead on the situation and trusted and supported his decision — because he knew her better, because he was once married to her.

Anthony: I would say that you must get to know your new children. Find out their likes and dislikes and pay attention. Everyone is an individual with different needs and wants. Find out their joys and pains, and this will help build a better relationship that’s unbreakable.

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