When the Oil Runs Low: Black Men, Fatherhood, Ministry, and Mental Health

As we celebrate Father’s Day, Dinisha Mingo shares why Black men should free themselves from pressure that can become overwhelming.

There is a kind of exhaustion many Black men know intimately — but rarely speak about. 

It is the exhaustion of carrying responsibility without rest. Of being expected to provide, protect, lead, endure, and stay strong no matter the cost. 

For Black fathers, pastors, husbands, and community leaders, the pressure can become overwhelming. Yet many continue carrying the weight silently, especially in ministry. 

As we celebrate Father’s Day, we must create space not only for celebration, but for care. Black men are often taught to survive without softness. Messages like “be strong” and “handle it” can make emotional struggle feel like weakness instead of humanity. 

But survival is not the same as wellness. 

In my work, I have seen how burnout is not simply about being tired. It can lead to emotional exhaustion, numbness, hopelessness, and disconnection from purpose. Many men continue working, providing, and showing up for everyone else while quietly running on empty. 

Even strong men in scripture became weary. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah — after one of the greatest moments of his ministry — became overwhelmed and exhausted. God did not shame him. God allowed him to rest before addressing his assignment. 

Sometimes the most spiritual thing a man can do is admit he is tired. 

Black men deserve rest, too. Rest is not laziness — it is stewardship. Your sons do not only need to see you provide; they also need to see you emotionally alive. 

This Father’s Day, may Black men remember this: You do not have to earn your humanity through exhaustion. 

And sometimes, the most faithful thing a man can do is finally admit he needs replenishment.